Wednesday is MahJong... and other stuff!

So yesterday was okay, I lost six bucks at canasta and won fourteen at poker.  It filled the day pretty good I guess.  I just keep looking down at the seat where Sarge always sat and expect to see his face though, not some other guy.

Today I get to see my MahJong gals and they always cheer me up pretty good.  I really don't care if I win or lose, I just want to play.

I didn't get lonely yesterday, I was so busy I didn't have time to think, run from one activity to the next.  That's good but not something I can do every day, I don't have the energy for it but will go as fast as I can for as long as I can.

I had cake yesterday.  It was counted in my daily points so it's okay but I just thought I'd tell you I had it since I don't have it often any more.  It was delicious too, homemade, no frosting, moist and delicious.  The gal that made it told me it was really easy to make but I told her if I made it I'd just eat it so I'd better not.

I've been doing a bit better cooking for one.  It's easy to make something and have leftovers for days but harder to just cook one meal.  Something I have never in my entire life done.  

I didn't renew my Sam's club membership because why would I want to buy such big packages of stuff now?  Plus I still have the Costco membership tied to my credit card so that's all I need.

Seems like I don't have much to say that's interesting today so I'll quit.  If I think of something brilliant I'll come back later.  But don't hold your breath.

Have a lovely Wednesday y'all.  Me too...

Tuesday and other stuff...

Gosh I'm sorry I was so forlorn yesterday.  I'll really try not to do that again or at least not often.  I know good and well people mean well when they say things and I'll try harder to be more understanding.

I did some more cleaning out of drawers yesterday, tossed a huge bag of stuff I never use.  Don't know why I save stuff, it's just too good to throw out but no more, I'm tossing stuff.  Like about fifty bars of hotel soap.  Why do I bring this stuff home?  I never use it.  I'll never do that again.  In fact I take my own soap when I travel, I use Ivory.  So what would possess me to bring home their little bar of soap that is not even my brand?  I cannot stand anything scented like lotions or soaps or laundry soaps or anything like that.  I just want to smell clean, nothing more.

Then I decided to go to Penney's but changed my mind again.  I'd like to go ride around and look at stuff but I'd only buy more stuff that I don't need so I stayed home after all.  Buggers.

Today is canasta and poker so I'll be busy all day.  That's a good thing.  Hope your day is tits, mine too.

Monday ramblings and other stuff...

Well it's Monday again.  I have nothing to do today but will find a project.  I might look at cruises.  The duck said he'd go with me.  We'll see.  I'm not ready to go yet but maybe in a few months.  It might be just the ticket actually.

I had one of those moments yesterday where I thought Sarge was in the next room and was going to go talk to him and then I remembered.  I hate those moments.  You go from "normal" to "not" in one flat second.  Will it ever be normal again?  I have no idea.  

People keep asking me how I am.  How am I?  How can I be?  I am functioning and living and carrying on but I'm not, all at the same time.  I say I'm fine.  What's the point of trying to explain this?  There is no explanation.  There is  -  nothing.  

Then they say "How are you really?".  If I didn't want to keep this a family rated blog I'd just say f*** it.   I am a shell people, a hollow shell of myself.  There is nothing inside me.  An abyss.  An ugly empty heartbroken shell of a person.  

I don't want to become bitter.  It would be so easy to fall into that trap.  I am going to get through these feelings.  I am going to go on living all the life I have to live.  I am going to laugh again and mean it.  

Sarge would not want any of this for me, he would want me to be all I can be.  To be generous, loving, helpful, funny, and he would want me to stay on weight watchers.  The latter is the only one I am managing right now but the others will come.  I know they will.

Sorry for the "pity party" above, didn't mean to drag y'all down, especially on a Monday.  Let's see, what can we talk about on an UP note?  The upcoming election?  No.  Religion?  No.  That leaves beads and food.  Never mind.  Come back tomorrow.  I'll make sure it's better, okay?

Sunday in paradise...

Sunday again so that means the WalMart with the duck.  Yesterday I got a truly krappy letter from my friend, the State of Florida.  You see I collected two bucks sales tax on my Etsy shop and it seems I am late filing with them.  Two weeks late.  And I now have a fifty ($50.00!!) fine.  Buggers to them.  I filed the return, enclosed my $2.10 and a copy of the death certificate with a letter asking them to abate the fine.  We'll see.  Geez like I was going to abscond with their two bucks.

So let's see, what shall we talk about today?  It's beautiful here, couldn't be nicer.  Today we are expecting a record high, the previous high for this date is 86 degrees.  I love this!  Not that anyone else cares but it makes me happy.  

I guess the above two paragraphs tell you 1) I hate Florida and 2) I love Florida.  A true dichotomy.  And yes, both 1 and 2 are true.

The bloggers cruise is coming up soon.  Boy howdy do I ever wish I was going but not this time.  I hope next year it's out of Florida and them I'm going.  They're having a roast for John and I bet that's a lot of fun.  Great idea, the roast.  

Speaking of roast, man roast beef sounds good.  I think it's pretty high in points though so I'll pass.  Something about the mashed potatoes and gravy.  Man I love gravy.  I must be hungry, all I can think about is food.  Buggers.  I learned a long time ago in weight watchers that sometimes when you think you are hungry that you are actually thirsty and to have a glass of water and see if the hunger goes away.  And you know what?  Lots of times it does.  But I still want mashed potatoes and gravy.

Have a lovely Sunday y'all, me too...

Big bang... and other stuff!

I have absolutely fallen in love with those guys on the big bang theory.  The first time I watched it I thought it was the stupidest thing I ever saw but then I changed my mind.  Anyway I am having so much fun watching that show and it seems to come on several times a day.  I couldn't understand all the lyrics to the theme song so I found it in case you wanted to see it here it is:

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state, then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...the Earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids), math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries, that all started with the big bang!

Anyway these geeky guys live in an apartment with a broken elevator and they sit on the sofa and eat Thai food and talk about things (sort of like Seinfeld but way geekier) and they make me laugh and laugh.  And laughing is good.  Very good.

So yesterday I went to Target by myself for the first time ever.  Yes, you read that right, the first time ever.  Sarge and I just always went everywhere together.  I rode around the whole store and got some food and a bottle of nail polish that I totally did not need but since I'm not on nail polish shopping ban, well, there you go!

Next up I stopped by Dr. Wack's office to get weighed.  Drumroll please.... 6 pounds gone, total 37 pounds!  148 sticks of butter (blubber) GONE!

Oh and I did another dumb thing.  While I was at Target I was looking for something new to eat and I found a packaged refrigerated meal next to the weight watchers ones that was 210 calories (4 points on the old plan that I use) so I bought three.  Brought one home and heated it, delicious.  It was Mexican and SO good.  Then I looked closer at the package.  It's TWO servings.  Buggers.  NINE points.  But honestly it was so good it was worth it.  I don't know anyone that would only eat half of it though because it's the same size as the weight watchers lasagna meal, pretty small.  Anyway I shall count it in my day and go forth.  (I think the three mini carrot cake muffins got me going again!)

That's it for today y'all.  Have a great one.  Me too...